You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
