the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
