you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
