do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
