I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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