He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
