I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
