with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
being pregnant is like rehab
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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