new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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