he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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