please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this just has baby written all over it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
