tell your sister to shave her snatch
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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