Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
