did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
