I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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