Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
