I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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