Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
