Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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