so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
