it hurts more in the daytime
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
