I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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