are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
