nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
