i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
