If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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