i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
