She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
