My balls are so social today.
The beer is more important than you right now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
