it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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