I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
