omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
