I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
