I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
