My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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