your parents love me but you hate me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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