I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
