Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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