PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize