to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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