Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
