that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
