I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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