my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
