it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
