How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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