So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
