i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
