She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
