Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
