if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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