out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
