Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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